Monday, July 2, 2012
Ipelegeng, The Best Two Years, Nkosi Sikelel
Sunday morning 6AM the alarm goes off. "Good morning SUNDAY JULY 1ST" a strange feeling comes over me. You go home this month man.... Word's can't really paint what I'm feeling right now, its just something you have to experience for yourself. I packed my bags this morning and it felt like the whole world was spinning and it was so noisy, but inside was just this profound silence. This last week was probably the fastest of my life and this one I'm sure will smash its record. I've never felt anything like this before its like graduating high school again, but this time you're just diving into the complete unknown. Leaving home was the weirdest thing I've ever had, like I won't see or have any of this for two years, and I felt this fear/anxiety/excitement come over me, and now my heart is completely divided. Returning home to family, friends, college, the future, warm good old STG, and yet leaving behind the greatest experience of my life, a people who I love with all my heart, and diving home into I don't exactly know what. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I've come to realize something.
Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son Issac, someone he loved with all his heart, when Issac asked him where they would get the ram, he answered "the Lord will provide." I know I'm leaving behind a family, way of life, land, that will always have part of my heart, but It's only goodbye if I allow it to be. Jumping in to the mission field not having the firmest testimony, a lack luster knowledge of anything, and a fear of talking to complete strangers wasn't easy either. But look what became of it. The truth is, nothing in this life worth having or achieving doesn't come without sacrifice. But, if you just put a smile on, push forward, its not a sacrifice at all. It is a tremendous blessing.
When someone says a mission is the best two years, that's someone who just lays it on the table forgets himself, and truly finds what's important. In the words of Jeffrey R. Holland. "My Mission Means EVERYTHING To Me" I've gained a knowledge of who I truly am, where I come from, what I can become, and how to work. Also how to laugh, how to remain positive even when your canoe has 6 holes you're going over a waterfall, and you used your paddle for firewood the night before, and what is truly important.
I'm grateful for my family and all the support they have given me, from countless letters, emails, support, prayers, and just being there. I took them so for granted before. Little things like a bowl of cereal on the table at 7:45 when I rolled out of bed at 7:42 and have to leave for school at 7:50, just putting up with my crap and still trying on me. It just seems like the small sacrifices I've made being here have just turned into blessings worth more than any job, degree, or amount of money.
So what I know is this. Sometimes you're expected to make sacrifices. In fact, life is all about making sacrifices. But, sacrifice doesn't lead to lack. It leads to the greatest happiness you could ever find. What makes it that way? put on a smile, roll up your sleeves, aim high, and watch it happen. I don't know what lies ahead, the thought of leaving my Afrika Khaya behind rips my heart in two... but what's the lesson. The Lord will provide. I have only the best ahead and my mission has been the LTC (life training center) there is nothing I could ask for more. I have not one regret looking back except for eating cold chicken a time or two, and perhaps not bringing a coat. But because I have truly lost myself in His service, I have truly found myself, and will continue to do so. That being said, there is no fear at all. Just joy in the journey, and great friends and family to make the best yet to come.
So I want to close with my testimony. I will not be emailing next week because lets face it... why? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true and living church on the face of the earth. The Scriptures are the greatest collection of knowledge you could ever have period. Thomas S. Monson is a Prophet, and we are guided by the Lord's Apostles and Prophets. Jesus Christ walked this earth 2000 years ago, and in being one of the greatest teachers of all time, examples of how to live a life, and the Son of God, He is the Savior of all of us. If you don't know these things, there is a simple solution. John 7:17 If any man do His will, He shall know of the Doctrine...." I love my family, friends, and Africa with all of my heart and will never forget their impact on me. True happiness is only found in doing good, never in wickedness. I could speak all day, but I'll close by saying this is it, and never forget it. If you don't know, learn it for yourself. It's going to be so hard to leave even though i'm so excited to see you all, but I will be back to Africa, I will never forget this time, and I will go forward with a smile on my face.
Nkosi Sikeleli AFRICA!
Elder Kenyon Chase Robinson
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